Why can't I stop – even though I know it's wrong? When does a habit turn into addiction?

Is this a habit or an addiction?

You wake up very late with a throbbing headache. The room is a mess and you don’t remember how or with whom you came home from the party last night. Or you swear that you will only just look for a minute at what’s new on social media, and then hit the books … to find out later that another day has gone when you did nothing of the work. Or you take the rent money to take it to the landlord, and just stop at the kiosk just to “double the money,” until you find that it’s all gone. It’s a bad habit, you say, I have to get rid of it. In fact, you have tried it many times and failed. Have you crossed the line from habit to addiction, you wonder?

Why do we fail to notice the warning signs?

There is a lot of confusion and misunderstanding surrounding addiction. Since almost everyone has some experience with it, many people believe they understand it when in actuality, their understanding consists only of common prejudices and incorrect, outdated “facts.” Denial and projection are common psychological strategies people unconsciously use to protect themselves from anxiety arising from unacceptable thoughts or feelings. Both the addicts and their families and friends try to convince themselves that it is just a comforting behavior, helping you to weather a temporary crisis. Everybody seems to downplay the grave consequences of such behavior. Often, the addict’s acting out and its consequences for their families remain hidden from the rest of society for years—until an invisible line is crossed. Then the tables turn, and the addicts are blamed and punished for both what they did and did not do while in the grip of their addiction.

What are the official criteria for addiction?

Many people overlook key differences between a “habit” and an “addiction.”  Habits may be challenging to break, but often can be stopped without treatment. Addictions typically require treatment and lifestyle changes to manage.

1. Engaging in the behavior longer than you originally meant to.

2. Wanting to cut down on or stop engaging in the behavior, but not managing to.

3. Spending a lot of time engaging in, or recovering after engaging in, the behavior.

4. Feeling cravings and urges to engage in the behavior.

5. Failing to meet obligations at work, home, or school because of the behavior.

6. Continuing to engage in the behavior even when it causes problems in your relationships.

7. Giving up important social, occupational, or recreational activities to engage in the behavior, or as a result of its consequences.

8. Continuing to engage in the behavior even when it puts you in danger.

9. Continuing to engage in the behavior even when you know it may be causing or worsening a physical or psychological problem from which you suffer.

10. Developing a tolerance—needing to engage in the behavior more often to achieve the effect you want.

11. Developing withdrawal symptoms when you do not engage in the behavior.

Note that for a person to be diagnosed with addiction, they must display at least two of these eleven symptoms within twelve months. The presence of two or three symptoms indicates a mild problem, the presence of four or five indicates a moderate problem, and the presence of six or more is indicative of severe addiction.

Serenity – All you need to know about addiction, whether chemichal or behavioral

Whether you are worried you may be an addict yourself, or are concerned for a loved one who exhibits problematic behaviors, addiction may affect your life on many levels—and to battle it, you must arm yourself with knowledge. You must do away with prejudices and misunderstandings about addiction that might cause you to fail. You must update your understanding of addiction.

In my book Serenity: How to Recognize, Understand, and Recover from Behavioral Addictions, you can find all you need to know about behavioral addictions: extensive explanations, real-life examples, advice for the addicts as well as for their family members. Moreover, you will be guided to construct your personal recovery plan according to the guidelines from the book. Even if you find out that you’re not (yet?) addicted, it’s wise to have your addictive behaviors in check for your future.

Dr. Sanja Rozman is a medical doctor, psychotherapist, and author of 9 books on behavioral addictions. Her newest book Serenity: How to Recognize, Understand, and Recover from Behavioral Addictions, features state-of-the-art descriptions, advice, and exercises, together with a template for your personalized recovery plan. Compassionate and easy to understand, it is your go-to manual for overcoming behavioral addictions.